What did that mean...

Today when I went to go pick Ian up from daycare today there was a slip in our mailbox about this new billing system they were moving over to. Not only are we being A%^R*&^%D every week for daycare expenses they are going to bump up our price b/c of this new billing system. I was thinking about it. I know why we can't seem to get ahead. It's the whole paycheck a month...plus more to pay for diapers, wipes, food, etc for the daycare. Dude...I'm not sure what to do.

Anyway, when I went to go talk to the daycare director she just kinda looked at me like, "Dude...you don't like it...you are just going to have to live with it or blow ship." I'm probably totally over reacting, but jeez...when you shovel so much of your income into daycare...I guess your bound to feel that way every once in a great moon.

I always thought having one child in daycare was expensive. What was I thinking. It is triple worse with two...not just double worse...but freaking triple worse. I'm half tempted to look into a home daycare situation for Ian, and then just keep Sophia were she is at. I'm not real sure what to do. All I can say is I hope the load lightens up a bit when Ian turns 18 months. He has to go full-time to d/c until he is 18 m, and then he can go to part-time status. Sometimes it is nice having the ability to send him full-time but holy crap...it breaks us. If the only thing we change is this dang daycare situation...we might be able to pull ourselves out of this hole.

It's sad b/c we have the kids in a cheap daycare. Most daycares want $250/wk for our infant and then at least another $150 for our preschooler. Dude...what I wouldn't give to have grandma/grandpa closer. That might even get hairy, but at least we could afford to pay our bills. I keep hoping all of this is going to get better, but I have a feeling it is only going to get worse. Dude...DUDE!!!

I guess I could only work Fri-Sunday, but I'm not sure it would be healthy for Warren or I. It's tough being the only one home 90% of the time while your other half is off at work. It's nice to lay around as a family without having to worry if Warren is going to get to bed on time to go to work in the morning.

All I can say is at least we aren't completely under water...yet. That is a God thing through in through. If He didn't have a greater purpose in all of this I know for certain we would have drowned already. I'm feeling awful O2 deprived right now, but at least the bills are getting paid...one way or another. Yikes. I just need to stop talking about this...NOW...before I need a xanax to put myself to sleep.

It's stuff like this that keeps me awake at night. I guess it ultimately comes down to what we really NEED. It would be nice to have this and that and thank God we haven't had many emergencies lately, but Lord...just help us to get our head above water for a little while.

Oh...did I mention I think I'm loosing my far vision. What is it...you turn 30...you start noticing all the while hair/wrinkles on you, your vision goes out the window, and not to mention the body aches. Oh to be 20 again. I never knew how good I actually had it.

Ok...enough complaining. Anymore and I'll be up all freaking night long.